Over the past week I’ve had the same feeling come up with several clients.
What’s interesting about this feeling is that it’s actually more of an overwhelming feeling than the overwhelm of all the stuff one has to do. It’s what creates that tightness in the upper part of your chest… Closer to your throat. It’s anger, fear, regret, confusion, and paralysis all rolled into one.
Not to minimize what you 20’something are going through – I get you have all sorts of stress around your fears and lack of time – along with the deep desire to avoid what the mid’ish life people are going through. 😀
But, as entrepreneurs get a bit older there’s a bit more retrospect at play. And as time passes, you learn that retrospect is enlightening and a really beautiful thing. But it can also be a real jerk!
The mid’ish life folks can look back at all of the things they could have done, but didn’t… And see all of the other people making it huuuge because they actually did.
When you still haven’t “made it” after 10 or 15 years there is another level of stress because you’re thinking “which idea of mine is THAT idea now?” And “how can I make it happen FAST“.
The biggest challenge (which no one really talks about) is the effect this can have on self confidence. On bad days (which are hopefully rare), you can think…”If I didn’t all those other times… Why now?“
Since it’s my mission to give people courage and confidence it’s not a conversation I can ignore. And I know it might make some people a little uncomfortable, but I’m going for it anyways!
It’s just so, SO important! Not just for the mid’ish life folks. But people of all ages!!! And if you read through this whole post you’ll understand why.
This is Why NOW Is Your Time!!!
Let’s start with the most obvious – those 10 or 15 years are a huuuuuge motivator.
Embrace the knowledge that you gained from what you didn’t do, why, along with what came of people who really went for it! That’s where hope lies, and the energy to keep you going!
Plus, if you had kids the fact that they’re getting older free’s up a bit more time for you to start thinking about yourself again. And, all that extra time is not just for thinking, but for doing too!!!
I know you’re still busy and have other stresses but at least there are no more sleepless nights or 24/7 diaper changes!!!! And if you’re lucky, they might even make their own lunches and hang up their own clothes by now!
So if you’re afraid that if you haven’t done it before and might get stuck in that same cycle focus on these things:
- You have more time now so you have a new competitive advantage
- And ya – retrospect is a jerk… BUT as I mentioned it’s also hugely enlightening
Hold On To The Motivation In A Happy Way – Not An “I’m Gonna Show you” Way Though!
Oh no… here we go with the woo’woo.
To be honest, I struggle with woo’woo so this actually a really practical.
I know that a lot of people find motivation in proving people wrong (even if it’s themselves), but I think it’s just such an unpleasant way to live.
Why would you want to live in that state of “FU. I’ll show you”?.
When I’m coaching people I always do this with them, but I would like to (strongly) encourage you take note of your past brilliance, believe it’s still within you, and have a little faith in yourself.
This is the beauty of retrospect.
Get happy! Get excited about the possibility that’s waiting for you! And know that if you’ve been brilliant in the past, you can be brilliant again!
Don’t “show yourself” in that angry way. Just be joyful and expectant – ok! Promise!!
Promise me That You’ll Build Up Your Personal Brand This Time!!!
When you look at people who are basically just like you, who’ve made it… I can guarantee they have one thing in common.
They created a personal brand.
It’s scary as-F*** to do, but, it IS the road to success!
And I’m not saying that just because I’m a personal brand strategist. I’m saying this because I didn’t follow this road, have talked to and interviewed HUNDREDS of people, and know for a fact that this is the way!
Look at the successes of people before you and follow in their footsteps! There’s no need to reinvent the wheel. RESIST THE URGE! Personal branding WORKS!
How do you do it? It’s what I like to call #simplehard –> Embrace who you are! And surround yourself with people who support you.
That’s what they did!
This includes what you’ve been through, what you believe in, and what you don’t.
And for heaven’s sake – actually take stalk of your accomplishments because I bet there are a lot of them!
If you don’t, creating a personal brand is going to be kind of hard!
I struggle a lot with the idea of what to share, what to brag about, and what is actually worth being proud of. So does every single person I talk to. So trust me – you’re not alone!
I think of Katness in the Hunger Games when I struggle with this. She went into the games as the underdog and came out victorious. People fell in love with her passion, hope, and sense of self. There is so, SO much power in that!
All she had was a talent for killing small animals for food with her arrow. Yet, she surprised everyone by coming out on top. All because she stayed true to herself, leaned into what she knew and believed, and, well… just went for it! I know she kinda had no choice, but don’t you sort of feel that way too?
This is something that I’ve thought about a lot lately and has inspired me to add some additional sections to my programs. It is SUCH an important part of personal branding.
Don’t get caught up in age!
After my dad passed away stress has melted from her life and and she’s actually lost a lot of weight.
She was a size 12 or 14 for the past few years, and even though she was wearing size 10 clothes, she finally realized that she’s actually a size 7.
I know because I gave her some of my old pants after she complained about being uncomfortable in her baggy ones. She couldn’t stand the feeling of her pants feeling like they were falling down!
She looked at herself in the mirror and after the shock of realizing they fit, I could tell she felt like a million bucks.
But then she went back to her old story “Old people are supposed to wear baggie pants”. She’s 70….
I promptly asked her if she felt good in the better fitting pants? And after she said yes, I told her that if she likes the way she looks then it doesn’t matter what people think.
What am I saying here….
Someone is always going to have an opinion. Most of those people are living in outdated loops that make them unhappy and unfulfilled. If you feel good, who cares what the naysayers say!
(On a side note – when she got home and visited her neighbour the first thing her neighbour said was how “smart” she looked. Funny that! She was actually worried about what she’d say and think.)
The lesson in here for people of all ages
It doesn’t matter where you’re at in your business or life … you have time to make a difference by sharing your life and experiences. And, if by mid’ish or late life you still haven’t “made it” you still have time!
I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m just saying that it’s worth it!
And to be honest, there’s no better time in history to be a wise, integrity-filled and an authentic person in business! The Authentic Marketing Movement is huuuuge. It’s on its rise and is going nowhere fast!
So stop it with the stories – “I’m too old to succeed” or “to young”. Or, “I’ve failed a million times so why now?”. etc etc etc. Seriously… barf me with a spoon!
They are fictional stories! I want to ask you now – are you willing to rewrite your own story starting now.
There’s no reason why you can’t! The only thing holding you back is you!
I have talked to hundreds, maybe thousands of people who hold themselves back and it honestly confuses the F*** out of me! I honestly don’t get it!
There is not one single dumb, incapable, or uninteresting person I’ve talked to. Yet, all of them feel that way.
So… I can guarantee that you have something awesome to share too!
So what now? How do you get out of your own way and get the most out of mid’ish life?
I’m not your coach. But if I was I’d give you some homework right now. And this is what it would be.
- Create a list of things you believe in
- Another list of things you don’t
- Then create a list of things you’re proud of
And start sharing them, even if it’s just in a comment in a real life conversation or social media post.
It’s so important to revel in your successes and to share them. But also to come-out about what you do and do not believe. This is a subconscious message that you love yourself! And that message not only helps you grow, but it will draw some really awesome people into your life!