Over the past week I’ve had the same feeling come up with several clients.
What’s interesting about this feeling is that it’s actually more of an overwhelming feeling than the overwhelm of all the stuff one has to do.
It’s that lovely combination of anger, fear, regret, confusion, and paralysis all rolled into one. And you feel it right there in your chest!
Part of it, is that as we get a bit older there’s a bit more retrospect at play.
And as time passes, you learn that retrospect is enlightening and a really beautiful thing.
But “Retrospect” can also be a real jerk!
Retrospect shows us mid’ish life folks all of the things we could have done, but didn’t.
When you haven’t “made it” after 10 or 15 years there is whole other level of stress because you’re thinking “which idea of mine is THAT idea now?”
And “how can I make it happen FAST“.
The biggest challenge is the effect this can have on self-confidence.
On bad days (which are hopefully rare), you can think…”If I didn’t all those other times… Why now?“
And since it’s my mission to help people feel confident enough to put themselves out there, it’s not a conversation I can ignore.
It’s just so, SO important! Not just for the mid’ish life folks. But people of all ages!!! And if you read through this whole post you’ll understand why.
This Is Why NOW Is Your Time!!!
Let’s start with the most obvious – those 10 or 15 years are a huuuuuge motivator.
Embrace the knowledge that you gained from what you didn’t do, why you didn’t do it, and what came of people who did.
That is where hope lies. It’s also where you can find the energy to keep you going!
Plus, if you had kids the fact that they’re getting older free’s up a bit more time for you to start thinking about yourself again.
And, all that extra time is not just for thinking, but for doing too!!!
I know you’re still busy and have other stresses but if you’re a parent at least there are no more sleepless nights or 24/7 diaper changes!!!!
And if you’re lucky, they might even make their own lunches and hang up their own clothes by now!
So if you’re afraid that if you haven’t done it before and might get stuck in that same cycle focus on these things:
- You have more time now so you have a new competitive advantage
- And ya – retrospect is a jerk… BUT as I mentioned it’s also hugely enlightening
Hold On To The Motivation In A Happy Way – Not An “I’m Gonna Show you” Way Though!
I know that a lot of people find motivation in proving people wrong – even if it’s themselves.
But I think it’s just such an unpleasant way to live.
Why would you want to live in that state of “FU. I’ll show you” all the time?.
When I’m coaching people I always encourage them to take note of their past brilliance.
This will help you believe that you are amazing. It will also help you grow faith in yourself.
This is the beauty of retrospect!
So – get happy!!!
Get excited about the possibility that’s waiting for you! And know that if you’ve been brilliant in the past, you can be brilliant again!
Don’t “show yourself” in that angry way.
Just be joyful and expectant.
Promise me That You’ll Build Up Your Personal Brand This Time!!!
When you look at people who are basically just like you, who’ve made it… I can guarantee they have one thing in common.
They created a personal brand.
It’s scary as-F*** to do, but, it IS the road to success!
I know this because I didn’t follow this road at first. BUT, I have talked to and interviewed HUNDREDS of people, and know for a fact that this is the way!
There’s no need to reinvent the wheel. Personal branding WORKS!
How do you do it?
It’s what I like to call #simplehard because it’s simple in theory, but hard in practice.
Here it is:
–> Embrace who you are!
Then surround yourself with people who support you.
That’s what most successful people do.
The reason this requires courage is because it includes what you’ve been through, what you believe in, and what you don’t.
It’s also about what you’re good at, and what you’re not!
And brag for heaven’s sake!
Seriously! Actually take stalk of your accomplishments because I bet there are a lot of them!
If you don’t, creating a personal brand is going to be kind of hard!
I struggle a lot with the idea of what to share, what to brag about, and what is actually worth being proud of too.
But so does every single person I talk to. So trust me – you’re not alone!
This is a good example of stepping into you
I think of Katniss in the Hunger Games when I struggle with this.
She went into the games as the underdog and came out victorious.
People fell in love with her passion, hope, integrity and sense of self.
She was terrified. She definitely wasn’t confident. But she was determined to live and had really strong feelings about right and wrong.
I think that we forget how much power there is in those things.
This is something that I’ve thought about a lot lately and has inspired me to add some additional sections to my programs.
It is SUCH an important part of developing a brand.
Don’t get caught up in your age when defining who you are!
After my dad passed away stress melted from my mom’s life.
Because of that, the weight started melting away too.
She was a size 12 or 14 for the past few years, and had shrunk down to a size 7 or 10.
When she tried my pants she couldn’t believe it.
But she was afraid to wear them because she had a weird rule that she lived by:
—> “Old people are supposed to wear baggie pants”.
And she was afraid of being judged!
How does this relate…
Someone is always going to have an opinion.
But people who don’t evolve are living in outdated loops that make them unhappy and unfulfilled.
They aren’t even right most of the time.
And the story you can start telling yourself is that you don’t have to care!
OR – you can come out and be a hero by showing people another way to think and live.
Besides, if you feel good, who cares what the naysayers say!
This is the lesson for people of all ages
It doesn’t matter where you’re at in your business or life … you have time to make a difference by leaning into who you are.
I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m just saying that it’s worth it!
And to be honest, there’s no better time in history to be a wise, integrity-filled and an authentic person in business!
—> The Authentic Marketing Movement is huuuuge.
It’s on the rise and is going nowhere fast!
So stop it with the stories …
- “I’m too old to succeed” or “to young”. You are not!
- “I’ve failed a million times so why now?”So what?
Seriously… barf me with a spoon!
Embrace the fact that there’s no time like the present!
These are all just stories we tell ourselves
So… are you willing to rewrite your own story starting now?
There’s no reason why you can’t!
The only thing holding you back is you!
I have talked to hundreds, maybe thousands of people who hold themselves back and it honestly confuses the F*** out of me! I honestly don’t get it!
There is not one single dumb, incapable, or uninteresting person I’ve talked to. Yet, all of them feel that way.
So… I can guarantee that you have something awesome to share too!
So what now? How do you get out of your own way and get the most out of mid’ish life?
I’m not your coach. But if I was I’d give you some homework right now. And this is what it would be.
- Create a list of things you believe in
- Another list of things you don’t
- Then create a list of things you’re proud of
And start sharing them, even if it’s just in a comment in a real-life conversation, blog posts, sales messaging, and social media posts.
It’s so important to revel in your successes and to share them. But also to come-out about what you do and do not believe.
This is a subconscious message that you love yourself! (which makes others love you too!)
It won’t just help you grow as a business and human, but it will attract some really awesome people into your life!