I just realized why it’s so scary for some of us to share our insecurities and flaws as coaches and online experts.
When I had jobs it always felt like I was fighting for my life.
The politics. OMG the politics right?!
It’s always sooo dramatic.
To be honest. I couldn’t cope. I hated it!
If I ever revealed a weakness the panthers would be on me, and whoa would I feel their claws!
But more so than being bruising, it was sooo confusing!!!!
On the one hand it seemed like they wanted people to be ambitious. But on the other they’d never promote the lowly assistant… At least not to the kind of roles I really wanted (and frankly) was meant to be in.
It seemed like if I was too ambitious that was bad. And other times it was a bit less bad.
But it always felt like it needed to be the perfect kind of ambition. Like… being tooooo ambitious was bad. But not being ambitious at all was bad too. And figuring out that sweet spot felt impossible to me at that point?!
And sometimes I even got laughed at. YES. I swear this really did happen once.
I worked at somewhere part time while I was doing social media management as a side hustle so I asked if they’d consider letting me do there’s (it definitely sucked – still does actually). I was later told by someone there was a poorly disguised eye roll and smirk when they shared this someone.
Maybe it’s because I was often in low level roles and people expect you to be some sort of robot existing to make THEIR life easier.
“Don’t you dare have an emotion, illness, dream, or issue that will affect me young lady!”.
And they just can’t see you outside of that little box they’ve put in…
I’m sure not all people are that malicious or cruel consciously. But that’s always what it felt like…. That’s what it WAS like… for me at least.
“Be perfect or be gone.”
But even when I had a better job and was managing 10K per month adwords campaigns (and doing a damn good job if I say so myself!) as soon as a new dude came in it went to hell. He found my weaknesses and went for the kill!
I learned the hard way that “put your head down, work hard and do your best” doesn’t usually work in a lot of office environments.
So, since I did not do politics or low level service roles well I was fired and laid off (or quit because I couldn’t cope)… Um… Maybe more than once. (Lol. 😢😂😏)
So even though I’ve been in business for year, I’ve still felt like I needed to play politics.
And even now.
Even though people say things like … Be yourself, share your flaws, and be open – that’s what people will love you for – I still think I’m missing something.
I STILL think there’s some sort of underlying “politics” to it.
But I think we call it strategy in business?!
And I just realized that makes me really annoyed. It actually makes me angry! Like… really angry.
Because I still don’t get it.
I don’t want to play this game! I don’t want to play ANY game for that matter!
I just want to be a real human being with the full gamet of emotions.
An expert one minute.
A total insecure mess the next.
Sure about one thing. And clueless and curious or even blase about another.
And I am just realizing that this whole attractive character business scares the heck out of me because subconsciously I think it means I have to wear a mask and hide the ugly parts of me.
And by doing that it’s a sign that I need to be ashamed of something. And I am tired of being ashamed. And I’m pretty sure A LOT of people feel the same way!!!
I want to be wrong.
And if someone tells me I’m wrong I won’t be upset. I swear!
Like I said, I WANT to be wrong.
But really… I think that maybe I just need to be less stubborn and get in the sandbox with grownups and play good.
To start looking at it from a different perspective maybe?!
But really, maybe I just need to be less angry about it?! 🙂 Because honestly, I didn’t realize just how angry I am about this until just now.
If I’m really honest though, I WANT to stir up the sandbox every once in a while. Because deep down I feel like people need to hear the real truth.
And more than anything I think people need to stop feeling Ashamed.
To stop feeling like they’re hiding parts of themselves because they’re not good enough or smart enough, or whatever…
So be it if that makes some people mad.
Makes people uncomfortable.
Or makes people question me.
I am going to share what I think people need to hear in order to let go of their own shame. To help them come into themselves. And to become the people they know they are deep down inside.
And when people see people sharing half-naked pictures of themselves – you know the ones I’m talking about…. The ones that so many people like to criticize – well, they are are doing the exact same thing.
They, like us, are ashamed…. and trying to get past that, and want to help others get past it too!
So, I’m going to support them get past that.
I’m going to support you in getting past how uncomfortable you are with it – because that’s a sign of shame too.
So, if you’re feeling angry or frustrated and maybe even scared what do you do? How do you get past it?
To be honest, I think it’s in my best interest, and I can help more people if I’m a positive person. So that’s where I aim to be!!!!
So, I think I need to let go of my anger and this feeling of not quite getting it yet. And you should too!
But getting past that anger is just one part of it. I think that people need to see the other side too.
I don’t want to encourage anger, or frustration, or self pity. Because that negative energy is SUPER bad for growth and just general happiness.
But, we all have these feelings and by sharing a little bit of constructively, I hope it will make you feel less alone.
And as you see ME and others grow into who we are, maybe it’ll give you the hope, encouragement, and belief that you can too! Because honestly… I think you DO get it. You just think that someone elses truth should be ours too.
And gosh be darned if I’ll let anyone tell me otherwise.
So it has me thinking that maybe I’ll make my own sandbox with my own rules. I’m starting to think that THAT’S the secret?
THAT is the way to feeling proud and genuine and still having a successful business.
For me, it’s accepting that MY truth is my truth. And that it’s no better or worse than anyone else’s. And I think it should be the same for you.
Here’s the thing. We all have our issues to deal with. Everyone is dealing with them in their own ways.
Yes. You need to be interesting and likeable (at least to a certain group) in order to be successful. But, it doesn’t mean you need to strip down to your knickers.
Go ahead and do that if that’s part of your truth and part of the message you want to share. But only, and only then. This is what it means to be genuine and authentic.
Don’t put content out to get attention. Put it out to transform your life and the life others.
So ya. That’s my big message in here. Just be you. Stop being ashamed! Stop trying to hide yourself or trying to be someone else because you don’t think you is good enough.