There is this person I can’t help myself from following. I absolutely must know what they’re doing and will check their feed every few days.
I will also go out of my way to support their business, even though it’s unlikely that they need me to buy another one of their $47 products.
They will continue along their multi-millionaire path with or without me.
TBH. It annoys me so much.
I talk about how to become that person in this video. Or, if you prefer reading, you can read below.
Even though I know envy is a low-level emotion, I’m envious.
There. I said it.
I am also impressed and inspired. But I am also envious.
And I am sure that all ambitious people have felt the sting of envy at least once in their lives.
I think the secret is not to focus on it. And to instead focus on what impresses you. And instead of making that person the “competition”, making them a role model.
But, that will be the story for another show.
What I want to talk about today is > WHY?
Why can’t we help it?
So settle in, grab a tea, and let’s chat about the real reasons for this and what we can do to get there ourselves.
Let’s start with the obvious
One of the things I remember being so horrified by as a child was the idea of “Mob Mentality.”
And what I have learned growing up is that the mob mentality influences both love and hate.
In school, I learned about it when we learned about public hangings.
But let’s face it > fame begets fame.
I would be missing a significant contributor if I didn’t mention it. I would also be naive.
But, there is something that comes before fame.
A few episodes ago, I talked about “Star Power.”
> that je ne sais quoi or “it” factor.
In that episode, I talked about the importance of confidence. But, the question that a few people asked was, “how can my brand emote confidence without being cocky or arrogant. Or I am not confident?”
And honestly, this is a great question > because arrogant know-it-alls aren’t necessarily confident.
It’s also more than being good-looking or unique-looking
In the past few episodes, I have talked about style. It was on my mind a lot because I was launching the Selfie Upgrade Challenge.
Pictures of ourselves is undoubtedly one of those things that can turn heads.
But style doesn’t have to be bold.
And actually, the person I referenced at the start of this show is not bold in their appearance.
They’re attractive and always look good.
But their style is not unique, special, or bold.
And as the creator of the Selfie Upgrade Challenge, I think this next part is pretty essential. When we’re talking about nice pictures of ourselves, it can feel pretty shallow. So I want to make sure that this isn’t the only thing that people focus on.
Sure! Feeling good about how we look, looking professional, and being visually memorable is vital. But there is something that matters even more, or just as much.
No one wants to be a pretty face with nothing else!
We have all heard this before “style and substance.”
If you do a google search, you will get approximately 278,000,000 results.
And I’m sure all of them say the same thing.
“You need to have a style. But you need more than that.”
I know I know. That’s overly simplified. But I think you get the gist.
So, what is Substance.
My first instinct is to say “Confidence”. But then that just takes us back into a circle of questions so that’s not quite it.
I believe that it’s about having a strong set of values or beliefs. It’s about having a personality – shy, outgoing, bold, understated, WHATEVER – and being THAT person. Not wavering, and just being you.
But I don’t think that’s quite it either.
In the end, it comes to what I’m going to call relatability.
This is what that means:
It’s the ability to talk about things in a way that makes people feel understood.
It’s also the ability to have people look at you and think to themselves, “THAT is what I want!”.
Not just want…
But want to be.
So this is the answer to what it takes to be captivating
In order to be captivating you must:
- Make people feel understood and heard. Being relatable (by being genuine) is key.
- Be the person people want to be – even if it’s just 2 steps ahead of them.
This explains why some people would be attracted to the dude with the Lambo and the bikini-clad wife. While others would find that gross.
Well gee. If that isn’t the million dollar question I don’t know what is.
Here’s what I suggest.
- Start talking about the things you experienced and felt before solving your problem. This will make people feel heard, understood, and like you can help them unlike anyone else.
- Keep trekking on, being courageous. There’s nothing like courage to inspired people.
And of course – grab the Selfie Upgrade Challenge Course << https://susannamiles.com/selfieupgrade >> and start sharing your pictures! It’s one very simple you can do to make people stop the scroll and read what you have to say!
Without that, no one will see all of the value that you bring to them.